Some thoughts about marriage

I have been thinking a lot lately: about marriage in general, about my golf swing and trying to figure out what is wrong with it, and about my well-needed vacation next week out to the ocean. In terms of that thinking about marriage, I have been working on a presentation that describes what it is that Ada Bible Church believes about marriage, divorce and remarriage. With this, some specifics have made me think about my marriage and marriage in general. Some of the thoughts were:

· Marriage really at the end of the day is commitment we make forever. However, how many folks simply break that commitment over really selfish reasons (e.g., happiness, a sexual experience, financial security, etc.). Somehow, someway, the church has to do a better job of communicating that marriage is (really) supposed to last a lifetime. I have been spending lots of time thinking on this one for us here at Ada Bible Church.

· While being here at Ada (almost one year!), I can’t tell you how many broken marriages I have witnessed that ended in divorce (too many…). Again, not original in any way, but it made me see how difficult it can be to keep a marriage together. Previous to coming to Ada, I was a marriage counselor and definitely saw different couples that I worked with move toward divorce, but nothing like this, on this magnitude. When you serve a church of over 6,000 souls, you are going to see lots of brokenness. Failing marriages are just one of those visuals in terms of seeing the brokenness in our community. Again, something has to give. Hopefully, in this next season we can begin to see a change and see more couples strive for a miracle and simply, stay together.

· And yet, I really believe we can make a difference as a community to serve and heal marriages. It can’t just happen from the staff at Ada, but has to come from the entire community. One way, I think for us as a community to do this is to simply model a good marriage. The question, for me then personally becomes this, how can those around me know that I love my wife? How can I model for others that I love Julie until I die? How can I convey to the community at large that I will remain a faithful husband? How can I show my sons that I wish to be a “living sacrifice” to her?

Those were some of my thoughts this week. More to come later.